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Chuck Norris

Old 12-30-2011
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I love Chuck Norris Jokes



Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he pushes the earth away from himself.

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

When you open a can of whoop-***, Chuck Norris jumps out.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.


Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.


Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet.
He scares the out of it.


Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.


Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.


Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


Chuck Norris can speak braille


Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".


Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs


Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
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Old 12-30-2011
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I have never understood the Chuck Norris thing. I don't care for him as an actor. Not saying he is bad, just nothing to speak of.
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Old 12-30-2011
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Originally Posted by KLC View Post
I have never understood the Chuck Norris thing. I don't care for him as an actor. Not saying he is bad, just nothing to speak of.
Chuck Norris is a legend in his own mind!
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Old 12-30-2011
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Originally Posted by Purplehazeir View Post
Chuck Norris is a legend in his own mind!
Seems to be in others minds also.
You ever tried to sit through an episode of Walker Texas Ranger? Unwatchable.
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Old 12-30-2011
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Originally Posted by vindex1963 View Post
Seems to be in others minds also.
You ever tried to sit through an episode of Walker Texas Ranger? Unwatchable.
I know, that show is terrible. His movies are better than that, but not by much.
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Old 12-30-2011
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Originally Posted by Purplehazeir View Post
Chuck Norris is a legend in his own mind!
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